Find me a woman who doesn't love ice cream and I’ll show you a baby who doesn't love breast milk. Even with lactose intolerance trending, Ben & Jerry and other ice cream moguls have adopted dairy free options to keep all the ladies happy. The trouble with ice cream, though, is there are so many flavors from which to choose.
Recently I got to thinking about men as metaphorical ice cream flavors. This inspired many conversations with both male and female friends, and I asked them to describe themselves or their partners as specific flavors. I have come to realize that my palette favors opposite ends of the spectrum.- blame it on my zodiac sign. I’ve dated vanillas and rocky roads, and every now and then I’ve dabbled with chubby hubby, but what I think I really need is mint chocolate chip. If you are a single woman and you have not yet figured out your flavor, have no fear- I have compiled a list of flavors and descriptors for your reading pleasure.
Vanilla- For the traditionalist and the gal who likes to play it safe. Tough to enjoy on its own, however. May need to be accompanied with a slice of pie or a warm cookie.
Neapolitan- Usually very black and white, with clear lines of demarcation and a little bit of low key craziness on the side. Coffee Chip- Predictable and consistent with the right amount of sweetness. A reliable source of energy.
Cookie Dough- Mostly vanilla, you can count on it for its consistency. Every now and then it will surprise you in the best ways.
Black Raspberry- Sweet and lighthearted- almost nostalgic- but will be stern when necessary.
Pistachio- Sweet, sophisticated, and a little bit nutty.
Chocolate-covered Strawberry- Simple, sweet, a little sexual, and always up for a good time.
Birthday Cake Remix- For the gal who who likes every day to be fun-filled and treated like a celebration.
Rocky Road- Complicated and filling with a variety of flavor in every bite. Challenging to consume on a consistent basis, but delicious and exhilarating.
Chubby Hubby- Usually messy, a tad slutty, strong and definitely overindulgent. Should be consumed in small doses- for the adventurous types.
Mint Chocolate Chip- For me, it’s the pinnacle. Cool and refreshing, a classic choice. Sweet bites of chocolate always satisfy but never overwhelm. Can be enjoyed every night of the week.
Some women found their flavor in their early adulthood- call them lucky, call them settlers, call them decisive. Some lingered in the aisle a little longer, thought they found their flavor, only to be disappointed after some time passed. Others are still sampling, trying new flavors as they come or tasting some old tried and true for round two.
We are living in a nation of consumers who seek instant gratification, and with all the options and flavors out there we can make our choice to pick one, pick many, or even none. It’s a woman’s world in my eyes, ladies- you do you. Now pass me the mint chocolate chip.
